Spreading Christmas Cheer

Hi, everyone! Any of you who actually know me (or have read the right old blog posts) know that I love Christmas. I know that it's a hard time for a lot of people, and I really do understand why, but for me, it is such a joyous time. It's a time when I am surrounded by happy music and happy movies and beautiful decorations. I know that can put pressure on people and make them feel like they "have to" be happy, but for me, it actually does help me feel more happy. And I love helping others have those joyful experiences.

That's why I took a roadtrip to Raleigh this past weekend. One of my friends was performing in a community production of the Nutcracker, and I wanted the opportunity to see her dance. While I was planning my trip, another friend from Raleigh contacted me about a brunch for the families of children who have spent time in the Rex Hospital NICU. They already had performers arranged to play Santa and Mrs. Claus, and she wanted me and Jon to play Christmas elves. It was the morning before the Nutcracker, so I was already planning to be in town, and Jon and I had played Christmas elves for a church party in the past, so we already had the costumes. I actually didn't think Jon would be able to come with me because he currently works about 5 1/2 hours away in the opposite direction of Raleigh most of the time, but I was excited to do it.

Then Jon had a training back in town on Friday, and he had Saturday off, so he was able to come with me! We drove most of the night to get to Raleigh at about 8 am, picked up some breakfast, and headed over to our old church, which was hosting the brunch, to change into our elf costumes. (I forgot our ears, and one of the kids called me on it!) When it was time, we entered the room with Santa and Mrs. Claus and greeted the families who were there. Then Mr. and Mrs. Claus got settled in their chairs, and we chatted with families waiting in line, helped take pictures, and made children laugh. My wonderful, amazing friend works so hard every day to keep precious babies alive, but she knows that the families often don't really have a lot of positive associations with the NICU, so she planned this event to share some joy with them. It was a privilege to be a part of such a special event. We were very sleep deprived, but it was all worth it to see those smiles and hear those laughs.

Backing up for a second, the Nutcracker sold out for every single show before I could decide which one to see! I was so happy for them, but I really wanted to see my friend dance, so I asked her if there was any way I could volunteer and still get in. They talked about us ushering and even discussed putting us on stage in the party scene (y'all know we have good costumes already). We did end up in costume, but not onstage because I would have missed a lot of my friend's performance when we had to leave the stage, so we greeted guests out in the lobby and let people take pictures with us. Then we got to go in and watch the show. At the end, we again mingled with the crowd and thanked them for attending, etc. That probably sounds pretty pointless, but when I think of the smiles on people's faces, I think maybe it has meaning after all.

You should also know that my favorite part of Christmas is caroling. I haven't gone yet this year (don't worry; there's still time), but I did get to perform in a Christmas concert with the Oak Ridge Community Chorus, which you can watch here if you feel so inclined.

Now go out and spread some joy! I don't care if it's Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, or any other kind of joy. Just spread as much of it as you can!


P.S. In case you were wondering why we left home in the middle of the night instead of leaving the evening before and sleeping a more reasonable number of hours at a friend's house like sensible human beings, this would be why:

I'm the one in black. The one in the pink shirt on the wall and the one in the blue shirt belaying her are my friends.

Jon is in the red shirt. I am NOT the one climbing in the corner. I'm not that good yet.

Father to a Headstrong Daughter

Hi, folks! I'm a little late (I meant to post on Wednesday), but at least I'm not missing this week. I promise I won't always just talk about my family, but since I started with my mom, I wanted to also tell you a little bit about my dad.

I'm the baby chewing on Blistex

I already mentioned in last week's post that he was really smart. Even in high school, he would often teach his classmates the more difficult mathematical concepts that they weren't understanding from the teacher's instruction. He grew up to be a nuclear engineer when nuclear engineering was a pretty new field.

My dad shared my mom's kindness. He was a leader in our church, and he showed compassion to everyone in the congregation. I believe he truly tried to see people's hearts and not jump to conclusions about them.

But what I really wanted to tell you about my dad is in response to a post a friend shared on Facebook. It said something about raining wrath down on your head if you threaten her son with a gun when he comes to pick up your daughter for a date. And I agree. That is not an acceptable way to treat a young man. But I also don't think it's an acceptable way to treat your daughter. It sends her the message that she can't be trusted to make her own decisions or look out for herself.

And that's where my dad comes into this discussion. He very firmly taught me to make my own decisions and take responsibility for them. I remember asking him if I should do something that was kind of in a grey area from how I had been taught. He was a pro at not showing what he was thinking, and he turned the question back on me with a calm, "I don't know. What do you think?" He wasn't going to let me put my responsibilities on him. Then when I started dating, as long as I was obeying pre-established family rules regarding dating, no boy needed to ask Daddy's permission to take me out, and Dad was always just as polite and respectful to them as he was to me. (Maybe more so because me he could tease mercilessly.)

When I got engaged, it was even more pronounced. I had grown up with the story of my oldest sister's husband asking for permission to marry her and Daddy saying "no," (which, as I have heard it told, scared my brother-in-law to death) then explaining that he couldn't give permission because only my sister herself could do that. So when I got engaged, I warned my then-fiance about my dad's orneriness. We lived around 900 miles from my parents, so they had never met him before we were engaged, and (long story why) he met them for the first time without me even being with him. Anyway, I told him not to ask permission because Dad wouldn't cooperate with that, but if he wanted to, he could ask for Dad's blessing.

Do you know what my dad said? He still said "no." Now don't get me wrong. I still think he was being kind of ornery, but I also really appreciate him. He wouldn't give his blessing because he barely knew Jon. He didn't know what kind of person he was. But he told Jon that he did trust my judgement, and we didn't need his blessing because, as always, it was my decision to make. I love my dad for that.

I think I drove him pretty crazy sometimes with how headstrong I was, but I hope I also made him proud.

I love this picture of my parents

My Mom

For my first regular post of my re-vamped blog, I'm going to write about one of my favorite people--my mom. She's a pretty amazing woman, and it's hard to even know where to start.

My beautiful mother

My mom always considered my dad the "smart" one because he was a nuclear engineer, but when she was younger, she studied Latin...for fun. She has always loved language, and she wanted to know more about the roots of words. And Dad may have studied higher-level math, but Mom can do fractions in her head. (I on the other hand, make frequent use of my calculator app.)

Mom is also so talented. She's good at music and baking, and she has top-notch sewing skills. She never wanted the stress of running a business, but my siblings and I were always the best dressed on Halloween. She's definitely the reason I love costumes as much as I do. Then, when it came time for proms and weddings, we got much nicer gowns than we could have afforded otherwise. In fact, I got a gown that just didn't exist in stores when I got married because I wanted long sleeves, but I also wanted a fairly contemporary style, and almost everything in dress shops was sleeveless the year I got married. Gowns that had sleeves at all were usually a bit out of date, and long sleeves were very nearly non-existent. So I showed my mom a picture of the style I wanted and told her how I wanted the top to be, and she created this:

Mom also made my veil, and she made this cloak so that I could have my outdoor pictures without freezing to death and still be pretty.

And this is the woman herself.

But the best thing about my mom is how loving and giving she is. Like many people, she sacrificed a lot for our family. She gave up her nursing career to raise her children, and she did it on her own for months at a time because my dad was in the Navy for the first twenty years of his career. She read to us and took care of us when we were sick. She did her best to encourage our goals and prepare us for adulthood.

But she didn't stop with her family. She was always trying to help other people too. I remember my mother giving small amounts of work to a man she knew was down and out. He was a drug addict and had a record, but that's part of why she tried to help him because she knew it was hard for him to get a job, and he had kids. There was a teen girl who lived with us for a while because she needed a place to stay. And she has always helped members of our church and other friends by cooking meals, giving rides, babysitting, sewing... anything she could do. I remember my mom telling me when I was a teen that one of the people she most admired was also one of the most kind people she had ever known. I internalized that, and it became my goal to be that kind. It will be a lifelong process, but I'm working on it.

Now go and sow some goodness!

Bonus: Look at my cute parents!